For some unknown reason, I have been feeling quite lonely this last month or so and I am finding it really strange as I have never been lonely before.
I didn’t have the time to feel lonely growing up as I spent half my life at boarding school. When I wasn’t swimming (swimming was a big part of my life when I was younger) I was with my friends.
I then left Capricorn and moved back to Zimbabwe where I made new friends. I fell pregnant with my son at 16 and had him at 17 which is also when I met my ex husband. We were together for 10 years and were always on the go (we got married, had a baby, enjoyed family life, both worked full time, did catering for the Round Table during the evenings, studied etc..) and during this time I was lucky enough to have met my special friend, Carol.
Gareth and I ended up getting divorced and, roundabout at the same time, Carol and her hubby got divorced. We supported each other through it. Carol would often come and spend the week – end with me. We’d go out or just stay in, it didn’t matter which. There was always something on the go back home – drinks, house parties, clubbing, braai’s, random road trips. It was awesome.
I left Zim 6 years ago and moved to the UK. I didn’t know anyone here apart from my family (mom and brother) but have never been particularly close to them. I made new friends and started to build a life for myself and my noo’s. I have met some really dreadful people here but at the same time I have met some really lovely people and have made some good friends which is nice.
I am quite a busy person. I work full time, have just finished an Advanced Diploma, do my own house work, am always cooking something, I have 3 blogs on the go, do cross stitch or parchment craft and yet I am lonely. Doesn’t make sense does it?!
I don’t think working in an all male environment helps. When they aren’t talking techie (I work in IT) they are talking porn. I don’t socialize with them like I used to when I worked at the Funny Farm (where I used to work).
I think I just yearn for a close friendship like the one I had with Carol. I am still friends with Gareth and Carol. In fact, they are my best friends and always will be. The only difference is we are now scattered around the world. Yes, they are still there for me as I am for them and, yes we are still close, but I am missing the closeness. Being able to go out and have a few drinks, hang out or just be completely random with. I haven’t found that yet.
Am I completely insane? Surely there must be another fruit loop out there?
If you are reading this and can relate to what I am saying then let’s go for a drink – this could be the start of something *insert ending here* ;-)
