Tuesday, 14 December 2010

Cherish Each Moment


Although it is pleasantly exciting to look to the future, consistent and continual joy comes from cherishing the present moment.  Each instant of life offers the richness of love, humor, stories, messages, healings and blessings.
Today, place your intention on cherishing every second that you experience.  Notice the details within each situation and the beauty of every human interaction.  Allow yourself to feel the emotions stirred by each moment.  Be consciously aware of the present moment.


THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

I notice the present, focusing on the minute details of what I see, feel, think and hear.  I find the humor within situations, and I appreciate this very moment, right now.




Taken from "Daily Guidance from your Angels" By Doreen Virtue

Friday, 10 December 2010

WANTED: Fellow Fruit Loop


For some unknown reason, I have been feeling quite lonely this last month or so and I am finding it really strange as I have never been lonely before. 

I didn’t have the time to feel lonely growing up as I spent half my life at boarding school.  When I wasn’t swimming (swimming was a big part of my life when I was younger) I was with my friends. 
I then left Capricorn and moved back to Zimbabwe where I made new friends. I fell pregnant with my son at 16 and had him at 17 which is also when I met my ex husband.  We were together for 10 years and were always on the go  (we got married, had a baby, enjoyed family life, both worked  full time, did catering for the Round Table during the evenings,  studied etc..) and during this time I was lucky enough to have met my special friend, Carol. 
Gareth and I ended up getting divorced and, roundabout at the same time, Carol and her hubby got divorced.  We supported each other through it.  Carol would often come and spend the week – end with me.  We’d go out or just stay in, it didn’t matter which.  There was always something on the go back home – drinks, house parties, clubbing, braai’s, random road trips.  It was awesome. 
I left Zim 6 years ago and moved to the UK.  I didn’t know anyone here apart from my family (mom and brother) but have never been particularly close to them.  I made new friends and started to build a life for myself and my noo’s.  I have met some really dreadful people here but at the same time I have met some really lovely people and have made some good friends which is nice.
I am quite a busy person.  I work full time, have just finished an Advanced Diploma, do my own house work, am always cooking something, I have 3 blogs on the go, do cross stitch or parchment craft and yet I am lonely.  Doesn’t make sense does it?! 
I don’t think working in an all male environment helps.  When they aren’t talking techie (I work in IT) they are talking porn.  I don’t socialize with them like I used to when I worked at the Funny Farm (where I used to work).
I think I just yearn for a close friendship like the one I had with Carol.  I am still friends with Gareth and Carol.  In fact, they are my best friends and always will be.   The only difference is we are now scattered around the world.  Yes, they are still there for me as I am for them and, yes we are still close, but I am missing the closeness.  Being able to go out and have a few drinks, hang out or just be completely random with.  I haven’t found that yet. 
Am I completely insane?  Surely there must be another fruit loop out there? 
If you are reading this and can relate to what I am saying then let’s go for a drink – this could be the start of something *insert ending here* ;-)

Wednesday, 1 December 2010

Meet the Gang

As Christmas approaches I have been thinking about my family and how much they mean to me. 

Without them I wouldn't be the person that I am today so I'd like to take this opportunity to dedicate a post them.

Darryn, Savannah, Gareth, Carolla, Liana and Michael - you guys mean the world to me and I love you with all my heart.


Meet my son, Darryn. 

Darryn aka Dizzle

He is 16 and in his last year at High School.  He likes to eat (a lot), listen to music, DJ and play rugby.  He has an awsome sense of humour, is over 6 foot and wears size 11 shoes!  I still can't quite believe that he was once my little boy! 


Meet my daughter, Savannah. 

Savannah aka Vannah aka Leek

She is nearly 12 (we are counting down the days!) and has just started High School.  She loves to bake and often writes me notes and stories to tell me how much she loves me.  She is
such a sweet little girl and she makes me smile each and every day.


Visiting Picadilly Circus, 2009

Darryn, Gareth and Savannah


Meet Gareth.


Gareth aka Ga

Not only is he one of my best friends but he also happens to be my ex husband.  We met when I was 17 and spent 10 happy years together.  Despite parting ways, he is a major part of my life and always will be.  He is a successful author, life coach, mentor, friend and dad.

Meet Carolla.

Sonia aka Carol aka Carolla

We have so much in common and have been best friends for close on 12 years now.  We have been through so much together and, although we no longer live in the same Country, we are still as close as ever.  She is an amazing baker, chef, mom and friend.


Carolla with her noo's - Michael and Liana


Meet Bella





Bella aka Bella-anna-wella aka woowoo is my mental 4.5 year old Cocker Spaniel.  She is absolutely nuts but I love her to bits.

Tuesday, 30 November 2010

Friday, 26 November 2010

"About my Mom" by Savannah



My daughter gave me an envelope last night and in It was the note pictured above.  I was so touched so I thought that I’d share it with you.  Please bear in mind that she is only 11 years old.

Thursday, 25 November 2010

Ego Invenio


I am so proud and happy for one of my best friends, Gareth, that I just have to share this exciting news with you!! 

If, like me, you are on a journey of spiritual growth and self discovery then Ego Invenio is definitely for you!

Co-founded by Gareth Stubbs and Jeroen Coenen, Ego Invenio will take you on a journey to personal excellence through self discovery! 

The exciting news is they have just written and published their first book called, “Inside Out” It just goes to show that dreams do come true!  :)

For more information visit their website or become a fan on Facebook.




Jeroen and Gareth
  



Their first book!
 

Buy it NOW 

Wednesday, 24 November 2010

Australia



Is it possible to fall in love with a Country that you have never been to?    

I am head over heels in love with Australia and have been for as long as I can remember.  I don't know who, how, when or why it began but I do know that it's very real - well, to me anyway!

I love everything to do with Australia - the country, the people, their way of life, their accents - everything!  It sometimes feels as though I am addicted as I can't seem to get enough.  I have read so many books, spent hours surfing the net and if anything to do with Australia comes on TV I am glued to it!  I have looked into immigrating and, if I didn't have my noo's to cosider, I'd of been there a long time ago.

When I was little I used to dream about falling in love with an Australian farmer dude.  I pictured him to be slightly taller than me and to have blonde hair and blue eyes.  He had the most amazing accent and I spent hours listening to him talk. That dream still exists. 

I look forward to the day that I step foot on Australian soil - to experience Australia in person will be better than I ever could have imagined.



Friday, 19 November 2010

Random Act of Kindness - GIVE AWAY


Would you like to win a box of Cadbury Chocolates?  Well you can! 

All you have to do is tell me about a random act of kindness that you have performed for a stranger. 

Simply comment (you don't have to register to comment) on this post telling me about your RAoK and you could win a delicious box of chocolates!!  It doesn't have to have taken place recently.

What is a random act of kindess?

A random act of kindness or RAoK is a selfless act performed by kind people to either help or cheer up a random stranger, for no reason other than to make people happier. Either spontaneous or planned in advance, RAoKs are encouraged by various online and offline communities.

An example of a random act of kindness is, when paying the toll at a toll booth on a highway, to pay the toll for the car behind you as well.


Please note:
The winner will be selected at random by a 3rd party.
Happy to post to anywhere in the world so enter now!


Live in the N*O*W!!


Life is not the way it's supposed to be.
It's the way it is. The way you deal with it
is what makes the difference.

- Virginia Satir



Wednesday, 17 November 2010

Enjoy the journey..




String Rings

I came across this web site called, "String Rings"

They say:

"The String-Ring™ is a cue to remind yourself, and those who notice it, to be kind to one another. To do a kind act, or even think something kind. Designed to be threaded with the provided colored string, String-Ring reminds you of the particular act of kindness you wish to remember. Each String-Ring™ is crafted from the best quality silver and comes with 20 replaceable colored strings, a jute bag, polishing cloth, stickers, and a list of color meanings."

I think that it's a really good idea - we all (myself included) need to be reminded to be kind.



Click on the link below to access their website:

Tuesday, 16 November 2010

Day Zero




I came across this site called, "Day Zero"   It is a unique challenge that inspires you to set and achieve your personal goals in life.

The Challenge:
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria:
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on your part).

Why 1001 Days?
Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple challenges such as New Year's resolutions or a 'Bucket List'. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organising and timing some tasks such as overseas trips, study semesters, or outdoor activities.
You can chose from their Top 101 list, use their idea finder or create your own goals.  Most are simple and easy to do, for example: "Have dinner by candle light"  I used some of their ideas and created a few of my own.

 My goals:

 
Kiss in the rain
Read 100 books
Take a pottery class
Write a book
 Send a message in a bottle
Spend a cold winters day watching films in my PJ's
Clean out my closet
Make a wish at 11:11 on November 11, 2011
Have dinner by candlelight
Make a custom recipe book
Spend a day at the beach
Start a family tradition
Start and maintain a gratitude journal
Identify 100 things that make me happy
Influence a person to make a day zero list
Go on a picnic
Have a massage
Have a professional photo shoot done
Reach my goal weight
Send a secret to Post Secret
Answer the "50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind"
Ride in a hot air balloon
Tie a note to a balloon and let it go
Don't complain about anything for a week
Fall in love
Host a games night with friends (board or video)
Find a personally inspirational quote and work it into a piece of art or home decor
See 10 movies I have never seen before
Have a FRIENDS marathon week - end
Complete at least one cross stitch project every 2 months
Go to the zoo
Visit 5 local restaurants I've never been to
Leave inspirational notes for people to find
Improve and update my blogs on a regular basis
Tell the people I care about just how much I love them
Complete a 365 day photo challenge
Save £5 for every task I complete
Eat 10 foods I have never eaten before.
Get more tattoo's
Go on a road trip with friends
Go to a concert
Build a snowman
Go fishing
Write all my bad memories on paper, burn this paper afterwards
Make new friends
Bake cupcakes
Don't log onto Facebook for a whole day
Study something new
Eat Lobster
Learn new Garnishing ideas
Host a themed dinner party for friends
Make a birthday cake for someone
Walk barefoot in the rain
Explore more castles, pubs, churches in the UK
Spend a whole day in bed
Write a letter to myself to open in 10 years
Go on a ghost walk
Take part in the Norwich Santa run
Go to the cinema
Smile at strangers
Go swimming in the sea
Study a different culture
Learn how to speak Shona
Take Bella for more/longer walks
Eat fish at least once a week
Do something nice for someone without teling anyone about it
Create a budget and stick to it
Improve my communication skills
Re-read all my personal development books
Attend, 'I can do it 2011' in London
Meet Louise L Hay
Don't eat fast food for a month
Own a LBD
Cook 1 new recipe a month
Sleep under the stars
Watch every episode of Only Fools and Horses
Do some volunteer work
Attend a Murder Mystery night
Buy a camera
Find a new job
Have a pamper day
 Take more photo's
Kiss someone at midnight on New Year's
Find a new alcoholic drink that I like
No alcohol for a month
Go on holiday with my noo's
Spend more quality time as a family
Improve my relationship with my mom
De-clutter my house at least once a month
Weed the garden on a regular basis
Wash and vacuum the car once a month
Toast marshmallows on an open fire
Drink 8 glasses of water a day
Treat myself to a bubble bath at least 2 x a week
Plan and do something special for my noo's
Be more organized with weekly meals / cooking
Bake more
Open a business bank account
Complete my Advanced Diploma in Event Management and Wedding Planning

Everything is done on the website so as you complete a goal you mark it off.  The address is as follows:
I think it's a really good idea and I hope you will take part.  If you do decide to do it please let me know as one of my goals is to inspire someone to do it.  Thank you.  :)

Monday, 15 November 2010

Depression



I have suffered from depression for as long as I can remember so I thought I'd write a post about it - what it is, who gets it, what to do etc.. I know that I will struggle with depression for the rest of my life but I am pleased to say that I have been med (medication) free for 9 months and counting!!  :-)

What is depression?
The word 'depression' causes much confusion. It's often used to describe when someone is feeling 'low', 'miserable', 'in a mood' or having 'got out of bed on the wrong side'.
However, doctors use the word in two different ways. They can use it to describe the symptom of a 'low mood', or to refer to a specific illness, ie a 'depressive illness'. This factsheet relates to depression, the illness.
This confusion is made all the worse because it is often difficult to tell the difference between feeling gloomy and having a depressive illness.
Doctors make a diagnosis of depression after assessing the severity of the low mood, other associated symptoms and the duration of the problem.
Depression is very common. Almost anybody can develop the illness; it's certainly NOT a sign of weakness.
Depression is also treatable. You may need to see a doctor, but there are things you can do yourself or things you can do to help somebody suffering from the illness.
What you cannot do is 'pull yourself together' – no matter whether this is what you think you should be able to do or what other people tell you to do.
People who have experienced an episode of depression are at risk of developing another in the future. A small proportion may experience an episode of depression as part of a bipolar affective disorder (manic depression), which is characterised by episodes of both low and high moods.
Who gets depressed?
  • Depression is very common.
  • Between 5 and 10 per cent of the population are suffering from the illness to some extent at any one time.
  • Over a lifetime you have a 20 per cent, or one in five, chance of having an episode of depression.
  • Women are twice as likely to get depression as men.
  • Bipolar affective disorder is less common than depressive illness with a life-time risk of around one to two per cent. Men and women are equally affected.
Getting depression is not a sign of weakness. There are no particular 'personality types' that are more at risk than others.
However, some risk factors have been identified. These include inherited (genetic) factors – such as having parents or grandparents, who have suffered from depression, and non-genetic factors – such as the death of a parent when you were young.
What causes depression?
  • We do not fully understand the causes of depression.
  • Genes or early life experiences may make some people vulnerable.
  • Stressful life events, such as losing a job or a relationship ending, may trigger an episode of depression.
  • Depression can be triggered by some physical illnesses, drug treatments and recreational drugs.
It's often impossible to identify a 'cause' in many people, and this can be distressing for people who want to understand the reasons why they are ill.
However depression, like any illness, can strike for no apparent reason.
It's clear that there are definite changes in the way the brain works when a person is depressed.
  • Modern brain scans that can look at how 'hard' the brain is working have shown that some areas of the brain (such as at the front) are not working as well as normal.
  • Depressed patients have higher than normal levels of stress hormones.
  • Various chemical systems in the brain may not be working correctly, including one known as the serotonin or 5-HT system.
  • Antidepressants may help to reverse these changes.
Symptoms of depression
Stress can lead to you to feeling 'down' and 'miserable'. What is different about a depressive illness is that these feelings last for weeks or months, rather than days.
In addition to feeling low most or all of the time, many other symptoms can occur in depressive illness (though not everybody has every one).
  • Being unable to gain pleasure from activities that normally would be pleasurable.
  • Losing interest in normal activities, hobbies and everyday life.
  • Feeling tired all of the time and having no energy.
  • Difficulty sleeping or waking early in the morning (though some feel that they can't get out of bed and 'face the world').
  • Having a poor appetite, no interest in food and losing weight (though some people overeat and put on weight – 'comfort eating').
  • Losing interest in sex.
  • Finding it difficult to concentrate and think straight.
  • Feeling restless, tense and anxious.
  • Being irritable.
  • Losing self-confidence.
  • Avoiding other people.
  • Finding it harder than usual to make decisions.
  • Feeling useless and inadequate – 'a waste of space'.
  • Feeling guilty about who you are and what you have done.
  • Feeling hopeless – that nothing will make things better.
  • Thinking about suicide – this is very common. If you feel this way, talk to somebody about it. If you think somebody else might be thinking this way, ask them about it – it will not make them more likely to commit suicide.
How is depression diagnosed?
Unfortunately, there's no brain scan or blood test that can be used to diagnose when a person has a depressive illness.
The diagnosis can only be made from the symptoms.
Generally speaking a diagnosis of depression will be made if a person has a persistently low mood that significantly influences their everyday life and has been present for two weeks or more, and there are also three or four or more other symptoms of depression.
Who treats people with depression?
Treatments for depression
Sometimes when we are going through a 'bad patch' in our life, it's enough to talk through our problems with a friend or relative.
However, this may not be enough and we may need to seek professional help.
The important thing to remember about depression is that it's treatable.
There are many different types of treatment. These include medication and talking therapies (psychotherapy).
Psychotherapy
  • There are many different forms of psychotherapy.
  • Simply talking to somebody or your doctor about your problems is a form of psychotherapy and can help greatly.
  • It's far better to talk about your problems than 'bottling-up' your emotions.
  • More formal psychotherapy includes counselling, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), interpersonal psychotherapy (IPT) and dynamic psychotherapy or psychoanalysis.
As a general, rule psychotherapies are as effective as medication for the treatment of mild depression. However, for more severe illnesses, medication is likely to be needed but may be supplemented with psychotherapy.
Exactly which type of therapy a doctor recommends depends on the particular problems a patient is suffering from, the views of the patient and local availability of psychotherapy. There's little evidence to suggest that one form of therapy is better than another.
Medication
  • Antidepressant medication (for example fluoxetine) helps to correct the 'low' mood and other symptoms experienced during depression – they are NOT 'happy pills'.
  • Antidepressants do not change your personality.
  • Antidepressants are NOT addictive.
In the last few years, there has been an explosion of new antidepressant medications. The main advantage of these new drugs is that they have fewer side effects than older drugs and so are more pleasant to take.
Your doctor will choose which medication to prescribe for you based on the side-effects of the drugs and your particular symptoms. We do not fully understand how antidepressants work. However, they appear to act on chemicals in the brain to correct the abnormalities that cause the illness.
When taking medication, it's important to remember:
  • to take your medication regularly
  • you are unlikely to see any improvement in your symptoms for two to four weeks after starting the medication
  • once you have started to respond, you should slowly improve over several weeks
  • current World Health Organization guidelines recommend that patients continue to take their medication for six months after having recovered. This is to prevent a recurrence of the illness when the medication is stopped
  • antidepressants are effective for both treating episodes of depression and also for preventing further episodes of illness. Some patients who have had severe or many episodes of illness are therefore recommended to take medication for a long time
  • stopping to take medication once you feel well is a common cause of a return of the symptoms of depression. You should therefore only stop after discussion with your doctor
  • generally coming off antidepressants is not a problem, though usually you should gradually reduce the dose of the medication over a few weeks rather than stopping abruptly. If you stop antidepressants abruptly you may notice anxiety, headaches, stomach upset, sleep disturbance or other symptoms.
What happens if you do not respond to treatment?
Some people unfortunately do not get better with simple straightforward treatments.
It may be that they need to try a higher dose or different antidepressants. A combination of medication and psychotherapy could also be helpful.
It may be necessary for these people to be referred to a psychiatrist for more specialised help. The psychiatrist will want to talk about the problems the person is suffering and find out about background information, such as work and family, previous health or emotional problems and current medication.
The psychiatrist may then recommend different treatments. Rarely, it may be necessary for the person to be admitted to hospital if the depression is very severe. This is only necessary in about 1 in 100 patients with depression.
Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT)
Most people do not like the idea of electroconvulsive therapy (ECT). It's a treatment that is reserved only for patients who have severe depression, for which it's highly effective and can work faster than medication.
It involves having a brief anaesthetic, which sends the person to sleep for 5 to 10 minutes. While asleep, a muscle-relaxing drug is given and a small electric current is passed through the brain for a fraction of a second.
Once the person has woken, it takes half an hour or so to get over the effects of the anaesthetic.
ECT is only given under the close supervision of an anaesthetist, a psychiatrist and nursing staff.
Most commonly, ECT is administered twice a week and around 6 to 10 treatments are necessary to treat the depression, though an effect may be seen after the first one or two treatments.
There's no evidence that properly administered ECT damages the brain in any way.
What to do if you are depressed
  • Talk to people about how you feel. Don't bottle things up. It is NOT a sign of weakness to get help for your problems, in the same way that it would not be to get medical help for a broken leg or a chest infection.
  • Although you may not be able to do the things you normally would (such as work), try to keep active as much as you can. Lying in bed or sitting thinking about your problems can make them seem worse. Physical exercise can also help depression and keep your mind off your worries.
  • Do not increase your alcohol intake to try and 'drown your sorrows' or help you sleep better. Alcohol will only make the depression worse and harder to treat.
  • If you are having problems sleeping, try not to lie in bed thinking about your problems and anxieties. Do something to take your mind off your worries, such as reading or listening to the radio.
  • Self-help books may be helpful. Check out the health section of any good bookshop.
  • If you are feeling suicidal or desperate contact a voluntary sector organisation, such as the Samaritans.
  • Always remember that you are suffering from an illness. It is not you being weak, and you can NOT simply 'pull yourself together'. Your illness is treatable. You are also NOT ALONE. Depression is extremely common.
What to do if you know somebody who is depressed
Sometimes people are not aware that they are depressed. This can happen when the depression comes on slowly.
In addition many people suffering from depression blame themselves for not coping as they normally would, rather than thinking there might be some illness that has caused them to be this way. The illness can make a person think that it would be a sign of weakness to seek help for their difficulties. If you think that this has happened to somebody, you should try to talk to him or her about it.
Also try to remember the following.
  • Listening can really help.
  • Avoid saying, 'pull yourself together' or other remarks that make the person think that it is their fault that they are ill.
  • If the person's problems do not sort themselves out in a week or so, suggest that the person seek professional help. Remind the person that this is not a sign of weakness or of being a failure.
  • Don't nag the person or try to get them to do what they normally would. Remember they are suffering from an illness.
  • Remind the person that they have an illness, it's not their fault and they'll get better no matter how hopeless they feel.
  • Try to help them avoid resorting to alcohol, which does not help the situation. If the person talks of harming themself or committing suicide, take this seriously. Insist that they see a doctor.
  • Remember that it does NOT increase the chances of a person committing suicide to talk to them about it.